Nice Meeting You Too
Loser: You know something? I like to stick ice together. –Quizno’s, St. Source
View ArticleWhat Is the Net Value Of This Relationship? Show Your Work.
Dorky bookstore guy: Teaching is like the biggest safety net of all.Cute dorkette: You’re my safety net!Dorky bookstore guy, seeing her: Aw, you’re my safety net. –The Strand, Broadway & 12th St...
View ArticleOh, Elvis Costello, You’ll Always Be Cool to Me!
Suit: You know any good bars around here? Nerd: No. This area is too cool for me. –Ave A, between 6th & Source
View ArticleNone of Those Hand-Me-Down Genes for Me
Asian nerd #1: … Of course, ’cause I’d rather all of them have my DNA and not some other random person’s! Asian nerd #2: No, of course, dude, I totally agree. Source
View ArticleI Looked Into The Abyss, and It Shit Itself
Geek: Well, she was dog-sitting and the dog died. The family, I guess, was someplace where they couldn’t get home, so she had to take care of it. Dude: Take care of it? Geek: Well, she was in Boston...
View ArticleDating Riddle #486: If They Got Married, Who’d Be Settling More?
Dorky guy: Maybe I’ll take you to Lucky Cheng’s. Date: Huh? Dorky guy: I thought you’d heard of it. See, men dress up as women there. They’re called transvestites. Some of them even have had surgery. I...
View ArticleThe Way He Keeps Drop-Kicking My Emotions…
Nerdy chick: Yeah, but when it comes to in-tangible objects, he’s really irresponsible. Source
View ArticlePutting Me in the Lead for Valedictorian. Booyah!
Nerdy white boy whose homework just blew away in the wind: Dang! Ghetto girl: Looks like you ain’t doin’ yo’ math homework tonight, nigga! –7 train Overheard by: Jodi... Source
View ArticleApplied Math Majors at 2AM
Black dude #1: Hey, snowflakes! Black dude #2: Wanna drink some nigga juice tonight? White chick #1 to friend: Are you sure you feel safe walking back by yourself? White chick #2: Yeah, I usually don’t...
View ArticleI Would Date That Rock
Comic geek: Talking kryptonite?! That was the worst thing ever! Cute employee: Oh, yeah? Comic geek: Yeah! A couple years ago they did a story that was narrated by Arkham Asylum. I mean, that made...
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