Even the Bronx Won't Admit to That
Very dorky girl: Oh, do you live in the neighborhood?Very nerdy guy: Yeah! In Teaneck.–97th St & Columbus
View ArticleMommy, Where Do Wednesday One-Liners Come From?
Woman on cell, sitting at counter: The baby's not out yet…as in "it's still inside her."–McDonald's, Varick StreetOverheard by: JordanCollege student: It's like taking candy from a baby…only, ya know,...
View ArticleWhat Is the Net Value Of This Relationship? Show Your Work.
Dorky bookstore guy: Teaching is like the biggest safety net of all.Cute dorkette: You're my safety net!Dorky bookstore guy, seeing her: Aw, you're my safety net.–The Strand, Broadway & 12th...
View ArticleNice Meeting You Too
Loser: You know something? I like to stick ice together. –Quizno’s, St. Mark’s Place
View ArticleScience without Science
Yuppie: I was just teaching the scientific method to my students. Nerd: Oh, so you teach them induction and deduction? Yuppie: [long pause] The students aren’t that smart so I don’t teach them big...
View ArticleMeet, Eat. Whichever.
Moustached Fat Man: So I started my own ‘zine. Hopefully I’ll meet people. –Astor Place Overheard by: Tibbie X
View ArticleI am an Individual
Nerd #1: From the way you talk about LISP, I think you went to MIT. Did you? Nerd #2: Yes, I did! – Union Square Park
View ArticleUm, Let’s Call That Plan C…
Brainiac: You want self-esteem? Just go in there with a thirteen-inch cock. Now there’s your self-esteem! –58th & 5th Overheard by: Jodi B’holm
View ArticleHere’s One for the Dorks
A fanboy brings up a mini-bust to the register. Fanboy: Is this the last one? Comic book guy: Mxyzptlk*? Yeah, I think so. Fanboy: Bat-mite too? Comic book guy: We might have more in the warehouse, but...
View ArticleCheck Your Attitude While You’re At It
Bag check guy: I want your bag. Comic book chick: Pardon? Bag check guy: You know the rules. Give me your bag. Comic book chick: Sorry, I didn’t know I had to check this. Bag check guy: What did you...
View ArticleWednesday One-liners Get Edumacated
Guy: It’s the sort of class where the value of Greek civilization is assessed by expressing its estimated GDP as a fractal. –Columbia University bookstore Overheard by: Tim Wolfe
View ArticleThat and Civil Rights; I Can Get into Everything but Those
Nerd watching fireworks: I’m not really into the cerebral fireworks movement. –The Great Lawn
View Article… but I Know When a Shitty Joke Is in the Offing
Asian hipster/nerd: What’s the difference between sadist and misogynist? What’s the difference between sadist and misogynist? What’s the–Asian nerd friend: You mean masochist.Asian hipster/nerd: Oh. …...
View ArticlePsh, Like Anybody Normal Goes to Bronx Science
Nerd: They should have an alphabet bar… You know, where they sell you alphabets.Girl: Wow, are you the new freak on the gymnastics team? –Bronx Science Gymnastics Team Overheard by: LSb
View ArticleCrossing Delancey (A NYC Short Story)
I had just missed the train and was waiting on the bench at the end of the platform when a ragged looking crazy man starts pacing around in front of me. He says to himself: …and when I don’t take my...
View ArticleThe Technical Term is “Glowing Dork Stick”
Girl: I always thought those things were called life-savers! –UA movie theater, Union Square Overheard by: braun bowery
View ArticleSin City II: Three Men and a Big Lady
Geek #1: I mean, who knew that Mickey Rourke could act? Geek #2: Dude, yeah! I mean, he’s no Steve Guttenberg. –Forbidden Planet, 13th Street
View ArticleThe Way He Keeps Drop-Kicking My Emotions…
Nerdy chick: Yeah, but when it comes to in-tangible objects, he’s really irresponsible. –Fort Tryon Park
View ArticleSo Much Social Awkwardness, So Little Time
Weird girl: Did you bring the scepter?Weird boy: No, I forgot.Weird girl: That’s the second time!Weird boy: I know, I’m sorry! I got the Tetris theme song stuck in my head again! –D train Overheard by:...
View Article“Couldn’t hurt.”
Geek #1: …and then all of a sudden she put me in a headlock! Geek #2: So you gonna ask her out? Geek #1: …do you think I should? –2 train
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